I wish I had a "Chulent"

Ever since I linked to that NYT article about the Chulent gatherings of the disenfranchised in Manhattan I've been accused of being insensitive, overreacting, and everything in between when it comes to accepting those that choose to live life outside the realm of Frum society. They tell me that I don't understand how difficult it is for some kids growing up in Boro Park, Williamsburg, and Crown Heights, who think differently than the mainstream and cannot voice their opinions. "This is their only avenue of getting what they have off their chest," they say, and you just don't get it. Believe me, I sure as heck can relate to that, I've been running from society my whole life, and in some ways I'm still running. I know and understand the need to get together with other like-minded people and just talk about nothing, I just wish I could find that group. Just going to the same Rebbe or Yeshivah doesn't mean you think alike, thus you may still be lacking that camaraderie you so desire, no matter which group you may join.

Many of the people who I see in the pictures there on Purim have ben abandoned by society; they've been forgotten by their peers who now have families, simply because those people have families and jobs to worry about. That leaves little time for old friends who still need to be hooked up, and those friends resent it. That's not to say that we can wipe our hands clean of our responsibility to these young men and women, but it's tough to be an employee, husband/wife, and father/mother, and at the same time still worry about old friends. Something's gotta give, and usually the friends are the ones left out. When you're in that kind of situation you aren't very understanding anymore, and you need to find companionship somewhere. Gatherings like these are the perfect solution.

Back to the Chulenters: We can see that society has failed these people; We just don't know if society's very upset about it. Most people you speak to will give you the built-in excuse that every society has such misfits that'll never fit in, and nothing we can do will stop it. If we're super nice they'll just say that we're insincere. If not, then we're just a bunch of no-good bums. Often times it's the family situation that causes these youngsters, and not so youngsters, to drop out, and they'll build a case against society for not being there for them. Every person I know that was featured in the NYT article falls into one of these few categories. It's that family support, and the strong foundation at home that keeps people, inquisitive and non-conformists as well, in check and in the fold. Were it not for strong, close-knit families the dropout rates would be exponentially greater.