Toroso Umnoso - Not like it used to be

Kolel Shuvu Bonim in Old Jerusalem

There's been some talk on the internet about an article that was featured on YNet, The Yediot Acharonot website, about the price of marrying off a Frum girl in Israel. Apartments need to be bought, and bank accounts full of cash needs to be opened, all so that this Tchachkele can klap di Baychel that he sits and learns, and the Vaybel can tell her friends that her husband is an "Avrech." All that needs to be said about the poor fathers of those girls has already been said. Brooklyn Wolf had some words about it here. Forgive me if I end up sounding like Harry Maryles here, that's honestly not my intention. What I'd like to focus on is the Torah aspect of it, meaning how the idea of continuing full-time learning goes hand in hand with needing a paid-up apartment with no mortgage on it, and a bank account with One Hundred Thousand Dollars in it.

It used to be, in Di Alte Heim in Lita, when The Talmud Teyreh in Kelm was founded for married students, that the family had a home or lived in a small shack at the edge of town. Some of them WERE married to the daughters of affluent men and could afford to live like that. Those that didn't lived BeDochek and made due with almost nothing. They were Maymis Atzmom just to be able to learn Torah. The results were clear, we saw great men emerge from those situations, men of great diligence and knowlege. We also fail to realize that these were a handful of people, and it was something that was done, at least the organized Kolel, only in one or two small towns, not like today. Yet, the same people who are supposedly carrying on the traditions of Reb Yisroel Salanter and his disciples are the ones who instituted this mass system of all married men not working, and Shlepper fathers of these girls needing to somehow marry off his children! Who allowed for this to happen?!


(a shul in Kelm, Lithuania)

I have people knocking on my door, Jews from Eretz Yisroel, who are stuck in this rut that was created there. One guy has been coming once a year with the following story: "Ich Hob - Ohn ayin Horah - Fertzen kinder, un ich hub shoyn Chasunah gemacht acht fun zei. Ich hub zei alle gekoyft direhs, un Itzter halt ich bay dem Naynter kind. Efsher kent ihr mir helfen mit a sheine nesineh?" So I, the zhlob who still hasn't bought an apartment for HIMSELF should help this guy who never worked a day in his life buy 14 apartments for his kids?! Does that make sense to anybody. But of course the softie in me takes over and the guy gets a check anyway. Then there are the other ones that come every single year just to cover their daily expenses. They have yet to marry off kids and will be here twice a year once that wheel begins to turn. Is this why we tell people not to go to work, so that they should become perpetual schnorrers?

The worst part of all this is the ones that suffer are those that did have that Mesiras Nefesh for Torah, and didn't have that rich Shver to support them throughout all those years of learning. They're stuck with the house full of old maids who are less desirable by the day. I'm surprised these people don't start a mass exodus from the Yeshivishe movement, I guess it's tought to get up and start over again and that age. But again, what's the point of such so-called תורתו אומנתו if it destroys any semblance of a normal life and leaves no room for actual learning since your mind is exploding with worry over creditors and Mechtonim! This situation is not limited to Israel as we know, but at least in the US working for a living is not frowned upon, so the man has a fighting chance to actually make a living. I wonder though what would happen if there wasn't mandatory military service in Israel for all men. Would we still have that many learners? i doubt it. Please don't call me a guy "who hates Torah and Talmidei Chachomim," it's simply not true.