Sunday, September 19, 2010

my "blah" YeimKipper

Painting By Zalman Kleinman, O"H

Maybe it's Chabad. They don't like when you get too in touch with your feelings. Maybe it's me; the fact that I am who I am. Maybe it's the fact that I was at the amud 80% of the day. After all; if the Ba'alTfilleh needs to inspire the Oylem who inspires the Ba'alTfilleh??? But the fact remains that YeimKipper was "eh." At least as far as what I felt, what I experienced. I realize a lot was happening that I may not have felt or realized, but looking back, when people ask me how it was, all I think about was how I did at the amud and how people liked it. I don't think how it changed me, how things will be different from now on, etc. Why is that? Why didn't I experience what the people in the painting experienced? I assume you'll say that I didn't prepare myself enough. I'll give you that. But what can be expected of a working man these days? I should've done more, no doubt about it, but was that all that was missing? Do all others who say they feel really do what it takes? I woke up very early on EYK morning, shlogged Kapores on a real rooster, Mikvah, nice seudah. Malkes, Mikveh, pretty decent Shemone Esrei at mincha. Drove to Brooklyn, had the seudah HaMafsekes and went to Mikveh again. By the time I was done it was time for Kol Nidrei. Where did I go wrong? Whatever.

נישט קיין עוה"ז און נישט קיין עוה"ב


Anonymous said...

oy hershle hershle! i was there & now that you mentioned it, i do see what you mean. initially i thought it's me, but i know better now.
but let me ask you this, how many mamorim did you learn before YK & rabstaning from L"H for at least for the time you're nizhar in not eating pas akum ??? i thought so. so is it any wonder??

Minkatcher Aynikle said...

The religion in its current form does not cater to working folk.

Anonymous said...

do you have resher from the klienman mishpacha to publish that copyright picture?

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

resher? what's that?

Richard said...

The Ba'al Tfilleh is the only one who "works" for others on YK. The rest of us "work" for ourselves. We, but not the Ba'al Tfilleh, can in fact take a brake and think actively about what we try to do. The Ba'al Tfilleh has to do what he is there do do, all the time. That is, I think, why the Ba'al Tfilleh can´t go to deep into his feelings in front of the Amud.

Hinneni He'Oni Mi'Maas Mamosh said...

Now that you are so honest, I'll bring up my YK experience.

V'Nakdim D'voreinu, that I'm much less of a Maamin than you, Tzig.

I was at the Amud Musaf and Mincha, B'Mokom Sh'Ain Ish, and in middle of the Avodah, hub ich mich tzu'vaynt.


Not really sure, I don't cry often, but when I do, it has to do with something deep inside that I don't really have a Maftay'ach too.

Al Kol Punim, as far as the Avodah, I thought along the lines of my Rebbe, Reb Blaise Pascal, he of Pascal's dilemmna.

If all the glory and Gilui Shechina took place YK in BHMikdosh, then we are truly very far from that. U'Ke' Die Liv'Kos.

If its not all true, then none of it is true, and we've shed alot of blood um'zinst.

Put that into your YK aromatic snuff box, and snort deep.

Anonymous said...

Minkatcher ainikel
the world is back to the pre Beshtian Era, every chosid has a little misnaged in his Boich

Anonymous said...

I am surprised that a card-carrying Lubavitcher can write such a peice. First of all, you don't realize the affect it had on your Neshomoh, regardless if you "felt it". (The avodah is to do what it takes even when are hearts are not in it. It is no kuntz to be oived when it makes us feel uplifted). Second: Where did you get the expectation to be uplifted. Third, telling everybody about your - in your mind - adequated hachonos, is not tznisdik. Fourth, anouncing that it was "eh" is a kalus in the way you shtell zich tzu to the tug. IOW, you should be embaressed about it (to a degree) and shouldn't plaster it to the velt (imagining publically anouncing that one's yechidus with the Rebbe after the Rayatz was "eh"). Fifth, who are you to determine what adequate hachonos are?


Minkatcher Aynikle said...

ארבעט מאכט דאס לעבן זיס און אמאל מיאוס

Anonymous said...

if you would have closed your internet connection and used the time to learn sifrei yireh the YK would have been super, your hachunas were plain technical maneuvers nothing to wipe away smut of blog interaction

מענדל said...

ווער זאגט אז דו האסט געדארפט עפעס פילן? אדרבה ווייל ס'ארט דיר אז דו פילסט ניט איז א סימן אז עס איז דארטן געווען עפעס א שטיקל אמת. ווען דו פילסט טאקע עפעס איז ווער ווייס וויפל איז אמת און וויפל א דמיון.
והעיקר ווערן קאלמוטנע איבער אזעלכע זאכן איז גלאט מתנגדישע שטיק און פאסט ניט פאר זמן שמחתינו.
טאמער דו ווילסט דוקא קלאגן וועגן זיין א חזן וכו' קען איך מאכן בעסער פאר דיר. ס'איז שוין יארן וואס איך האב יום כיפור ניט געדאוונט מיט א מנין, ווייל בשעת'ן דאוונען דארף איך אנפירן מיטן קהל מסביר זיין וכו'. פרעג איך דיר קאן איך עפעס פילן? ווען שחרית דאוון איך פארן מנין, און די עבודה זאג איך בשעת די הפסקה ווען איך בין אויסגעמוטשעט און קאם וואס איך זאג די ווערטער. נאר איך ווייס איין זאך דא דארף איך זיין און דאס איז וואס דער אויבערשטער וויל פון מיר. איז לאמיר זאגן לחיים און זאגן א פרייליכן ניגון.

Anonymous said...

once a sick person came to the ya-tav lav who couldent fast...weak ,doctors etc....he told him ( YTL to sick ) to stand by him and it will be it was...this i think ,is not a nas but teva...this year i stood by the baal musaf from uman...laeila laeila....

Anonymous said...

wow! Go mendel! That is emes l'amito!

bpunbound said...


Hershel was very inspiring, his Hininee was moving (Oy, der "Yodaiti" gave me goose bumps) and majestic (nice touch those few extra Tenuas while on your knees before 'Umeshtachavim'). And a real trooper, when the going gets tough and there's no one left on the bench, they call the pro to carry the ball in the waning seconds (pardon the mixed metaphors there).

So knock it off!

friendly anonymous said...

Didn't you feel at least a little embarrased when you read those parts about how your knees are trembling in fear before Hashem?

Though you do have a (partial) excuse that nowadays we daven from a standardized machzor, so you're just reading what you are instructed to say.

"b'pif usfosof yechabduni velibom rochok mimeni v'tehei yirosom osi mitzvas anoshim melumodo" (I don't have a novi at work, but I think that's what it says).

Anonymous said...

your lectures for Hirshele Zol Zien gezunt is Kemaim Karo Al Nefesh Ayiefoo

Anonymous said...

No guarantee you'll feel anything but now is the time to prepare!