Monday, January 8, 2007

More on Ashley X


(Ashley three years ago before treatment began - From her parents' website)

I did a lot of soul searching over Shabbos regarding the parents of Ashley X and what they did to her. I spoke to the father of a child with physical disabilities and he did enlighten me much as to how difficult it is to raise such a child. He of course saw it from his perspective, that of a loving, devoted father full of Bitochon in Hashem. If I was convinced that Ashley's parents were of that persuasion then I'd tend to trust their decision. From statements like "we're college-educated professionals" I feel like they're implying that their decision should not be questioned based on the fact that they're a couple of smart people, the fact that their degrees may be in law or accounting notwithstanding. They forget however that this is not a question of intelligence or lack thereof, but a question of moral right and wrong.

My friend tells me that a hysterectomy he can understand, after all, why should a helpless child have to go through the pains of adulthood. I'm not sure that the Torah allows it, even if it seems to be the "compassionate" thing to do, so I can only say that according to my Daas Baalei Batim maybe that procedure would be acceptable. But that was only a small part of what they did to the child. They basically pumped her up with hormones, and will continue to do so for a long time (again, with little medical knowledge I do not know for how long) just so she'll be less of a burden. I cannot imagine that having anything less than a negative affect on her, and will possibly shorten her life as well. He also tried to compare stunting growth to trying to "stretch" a very short child by percribing human growth hormones, but it's fair to say that corrective or "positive" surgery cannot be compared to stunting growth.

I may have been wrong about the parents only looking to improve their lifestyle, and not concerned for the most part about the child. After all, most parents would do anything for a child even if it meant some inconvenience on their part. But for some reason I cannot get out of my mind the idea that they're looking out for themselves here, and in the best case were hoping for minimal damage on Ashley's part. Who am I compare them to is the following: When I was a child there was a Yid in our building, A B'non shel K'deyshim who had a child with MS r"l. This child was actually around 18-20 when I knew him, and he went to a state-run school for such children (UCP). They lived on the 3rd floor, and when the bus would drop him off after 4pm I would see this Yid, in his 50's with a weak heart, go down the stairs, lift his son out of the wheelchair, sling him over his shoulders (he was quite heavy) and shlep him up 3 flights of stairs to his apartment. This boy, needless to say, was not very helpful when he was being lifted up, and it was quite a shlep up the stairs.

Maybe it's the notion that life should be difficult that dictates my thoughts on the matter, or that the human body is not to be "toyed" with like that. I can't quite put my finger on it. But something Shmekt mir nit over here, and no matter how hard I try I cannot justify the total procedure done to this poor girl. Un Tommer vet ihr fregen Vos badert mir Azey vos pasirt mit a nit-Yidisher maidel? Keydem Kol efsher iz zi yeh a Yidisher, un afiloo Eyb nit iz zi doch a hilfloze kind, un m'darf af ihr Rachmones Hobben!

2 comments:

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

קיינער האט ניט קיין ווארט צו זאגען דערוועגן
!וויי איז מיר

Anonymous said...

HT- This is the most bizarre story, a one-in-a-million scenario that is so ethically complex that it's impossible to even begin to try formulate an opinion about. How do you expect anybody to respond? The only fact is that the girl was horribly disabled and would never have lived a normal life. Her parents will also never live a normal life. They intervened to make her life 'easier' and their life caring for her 'easier'. It's gruesome, but can you blame them for going through desparate measures? Is there anything more pitiful than an adult at the developmental level of an infant? At the same time, how can they be comfortable maming her so terribly, even if it's for good reason? Without G-d in the picture, it's much too complicated to try and unravel. Rachmana litzlan...