Monday, February 18, 2008

Well-Meaning Takonos to teach you how to spend



I fully appreciate the need to reign in spending when it comes to marrying off children, although I'm not in the Parshah yet. I also realize that with large families the burden is impossible for most families to carry. But this seems to be a bit overreaching. They delve into all details, even those that other people don't know about. When it comes to weddings, events that everybody is witness to, I can understand the need to curtail spending. But, what people spend privately - what they buy for the Chosson/Kallah - should not be anybody's business. At a recent dinner for Satmar (the Aron clan) institutions there was a debate between 2 askonim as to the question of whether or not to make these Takonos, and the "pro" side won. The result was a list that seems to do a lot of good, but isn't the real crux of the problem. To their credit they are trying, and the idea is to save heart attacks on the part of fathers later on, which makes everybody happy. But this is just too much, at least for me. Then again; I'm not a member there, i don't have the pressure to do all that in the first place.

9 comments:

SatmatTC said...

this is great and very practical
specially if u have like 15 or 20 kids

Hirshel Tzig said...

I would hope that someone with 15-20 kids would have brains enough to not splurge.

David said...

It is important to have a cap even non public items because a wedding involves two families, not one. I can see this helping in a case where a poor family marries into a wealthy one - if these takonos are in place it will save the poor family from pressure to buy a gift that is above their means.

Anonymous said...

do the the takones apply to the rebbe

Twistelton-Twistelton said...

Of course it apply to the Rebbe. In fact, he is more stringent. He is not allowed to buy anything. The cassidim have to pay for all of it :-).

Anonymous said...

What the takonos don't solve is the underlying problem of Hungarian conspicuous consumption. You simply can't just change Hungarians like that -- they'll find another way to splurge.

SatmarTc said...

twisty

it is a real zechus

An Ailemesher said...

The gifts that are given are not just a private affair. The standards are too high and people are forced to give what they can't afford.

The Satmerer have real leadership. Hopefully the yeshivishe will follow suit.

Lubavitch should learn from this the importance of having a real live rebbe. They should get together and appoint one and give him ruach hakodesh so that he can lead.

Anonymous said...

The Beis Moshiach had a few weeks ago a sharp answer from the Rebbe about Anash that are splurging to impress the neighbor that she can do more, and the race spirals forever,