It seems like I'm part of the problem. Why? because I offer no solutions. Because I don't scream "kill the molesters" from the rooftops. Because I won't post the "suicide letter" that the kid Finkelstein from Lakewood who OD'd on heroin wrote a few weeks ago. Because after that kid another one of the Cows took his own life two days ago. It's almost as if they sit around and wait for it to happen so that they can point fingers again. We're all molesters in their books. I ask them what they want us to do, but they have no answers. No solutions from the stoned ones. All they can do is tell me to write about it. What they don't understand is that we don't revel in revealing shmutz like some other sites, so we find it very difficult to write about these very sensitive topics. That's not to say that we care any less or that we want to sweep it under the carpet. The cows write me nasty messages and wish the worst things on me and my children. I don't take their drug-induced wishes very seriously, but I do care about them, they are our brothers, we need to help them. If only they'd wanna be helped....
What I find is that they like to live in both worlds. They want the attention from the frummies, they want us never to judge them, to accept them, and never to make them feel uncomfortable, c"v. We need to let them have their "good times," and then, when they get a little tired of all that "fun," to have a table decked in white with Challahs and wine waiting for them. Why? because. Just "because." Otherwise we're all Nazis. After all, we're the ones that made them into what they became, so we need to make them all better too. What can I say? I would feel a bit used if that were to happen to me. If I had a child or friend that acted that way, after a while I'd get a little tired of his act and demand some sort of consistency from him or her. Either you behave in a way that leaves us somewhat comfortable, or don't expect only love and open arms from us. It's human nature; give and take. If you don't pitch in don't expect to get something for your non-efforts. Nobody likes a louse, a moocher, a do-nothing. In any culture.
Now, if we're to believe this kid Finkelstein he was molested as a child. That's what he seems to write in his "suicide note." I don't claim to know what it's like, nor do I judge him for what he did. But my G-d, if this is the case now, if every kid that goes off the derech will now claim that he was abused as a child and will eventually take his own life, can we sit idly by and do nothing? On the other hand; I would assume that most of these kids wouldn't want well-meaning strangers approaching them on the street, asking them if they were hurt as a child, and offering counseling, right? So what do they want? If they know who did it to them, let them go and tell the authorities. Work to extend the SOL for these crimes. Do what must be done. There are Rabbonim out there who are willing and able to help. The subject is becoming less and less taboo by the day. But please, my dear cows, don't stick to your drugs and your other vices and expect help if you won't allow yourselves to be helped. Don't accuse us of being "murderers" and then want help and love from us. We have feelings too. Nobody likes to have his offers for help be rejected time and time again. After a while we just stop helping.
23 comments:
If in your words "nobody likes a louse, a moocher, a do-nothing" then why does lakewood exist?
As for the rest, you raise many legitimate points about needing to do something. Instead of mourning the tragedy we should do something to prevent it from happening again. Would you be interested in getting involved? I'll email you.
i definetly would be intrested in getting involved please email me.
i think you framed the issue very well. many are abused, but a fair share are just as you say, losers who don't want to do anything. While they all hang out together, they have vastly different issues, the least of which is their frumkite. They all need help, but not the same kind. And i wish this only existed in lakewood.
fake, you don't have an email address on your profile.
my mind may be fried today, but i can't understand your post...what in the world are you saying?
Hirshel!
You have never written a better post nevah!
Yosef 718
>>If in your words "nobody likes a louse, a moocher, a do-nothing" then why does lakewood exist?
Drop Dead.
its the first time i agree with any thing you said,
because it does not shtim with the RMaSh Shita of Yufutzo even with cutzu shbecuhutzu
Yosef
Thank You!
fakewoodnj@gmail.com
If you don't pitch in don't expect to get something for your non-efforts. Nobody likes a louse, a moocher, a do-nothing. In any culture. Except by the Rebbe RaShab.
Allow me to explain.
In Likuttie Dubirum, (I think its on page 10 in chelek aleph), the Frierdike Rebbe writes, that his father, the Rebbe RaShab, preferred a “Nevler katzev to a Kremenchuker Maskil”
I’ve always wondered what the meaning is to these words. Yes the Rebbe appreciated all the ahavas achim, and comradery between the Chasidim in nevel, but how can he prefer that to the haskala and avoda that went on in Kremenchuk? Just think; the Mitler Rebbe wrote Imrie Bina for one of his chasdim who “kocht zach” in avoda. How can the Rebbe say that appreciates the ‘’pruste’’ Chasidim that lived in Nevel?
The answer is clear. In Nevel, the Chasidim were actually one family. They actually cared for each other, and someone else’s pain, was their pain, as it was with someone else’s simcha. They may have been ‘’simple’’ people, but they lived for real. They saw through all the BS that was around in Kremenchuk… In Kremnechuk, someone can sit and learn a mammar for hours, but he didn’t care for his fellow chosid. As a matter of fact, there some Chasidim there, that if someone didn’t understand p’shat in a mammar like they did, they frowned, and put down their fellow Chosid.
As I see it, that’s why the Rebbe RaShab said he prefers a neveler katzav over a kremenchuker maskil. For they lived the real life. They understood what important in life. They were not a bunch of fakes.
Lehachzir le’inyonainu, what ever happened to the selfless ahavas yisreol that we were shown by the rebbe? Just because someone spits in your face, you turn him away? You only do what’s easy and provides instant gratification? What happened to the real deal of living your life to do a favor for another?
There was a Yid who came out of Russia in Lamed Aleph I believe, he was niftar a few years back.. Very quite unassuming individual, (never had a beard btw).. On his matzvie is says, “er hut lib gehat ton a yiddin a tova”. Do you live your life the same way?
Additionally, there’s a Mammar written by the Frierdiker Rebbe, its printed in Ranat, the second Hosafa “Man Di’Ehu Rav I’hu Zoier, U’man Di’ehu Zoier I’hu Rav”. It’s a kitzur of Heicholtzu. Very much to the point. I heard in name of Reb Mendel, that all Chasidim have an obligation to learn this mammar twice a month. Learn the Mammar, I promise you, you’ll walk away with a different perspective.
Tzig,
Your post is a disgrace!
You have lost any shred of respect I had for you.The worst part is when you refer twice with zero feelings about a tragedy that happened, to the "kid Finkelstein"
Here I quote you :"if we're to believe this kid Finkelstein " and "Because I won't post the "suicide letter" that the kid Finkelstein from "
You refer to a tormented soul as "the kid Finkelstein" a young Jewish neshoma that just departed the world? Have you no feelings?
It's as if this tragedy is an after thought."Gurnish gesheyn"
I see guys like you as being part of the problem.No,I don't think you are a molestor, but I'm sure you have your priorities screwed up!
One of the guys who posts some of his 'pearls' here by the name of Millhouse, who happens to be a Lubavitcher rabbi, and I'm ashamed to say this, coming from a Chabad backround myself, just posted on Vosiznaeis, that a melamed who fondled a fully clothed child is committing a sin that is nothing compared to drinking cholov akum!
Many of your frummer posters here I'm sure concur with that opinion!
Sick and getting sicker.
I am still fascinated by these 'cows'. I have never seen such a schizophrenic group of people. But even more than the schizophrenia is the LAZINESS. These are intellectually and physically lazy people. Bottom line: they done have the b*lls to just pick up and make something of their lives. Any shmuck can sit around and poke fun or post 'philosophical' musings grabbed from a 2 min search on Google.
The only thing I can wish on them is that they live long lives AND never make anything of them. Which, at the current pace, is well on the way to happening.
I agree with the last comment. People like to blame their troubles on other people.
Of course, sometimes their troubles actually ARE the fault of other people. But it's hard to tell them apart.
From my experience, many or most of the at-risk people also tend to have difficulties with interpersonal relationships, including those with people who are not OJ (or who are themselves at-risk). Of course, it's always possible that their personalities were so messed up by the system that they were turned into jerks. But the other way is possible too.
It's really a case-by-case situation, and even if you look at it case-by-case, it's difficult to discern the truth.
Gershon Friday, March 06, 2009 3:45:00 AM says:
"One of the guys who posts some of his 'pearls' here by the name of Millhouse, who happens to be a Lubavitcher rabbi, and I'm ashamed to say this, coming from a Chabad backround myself, just posted on Vosiznaeis, that a melamed who fondled a fully clothed child is committing a sin that is nothing compared to drinking cholov akum!"
To make u feel better with your lubavitcher background, Millhouse is not a 'Lubavitcher rabbi', he is a very intelligent, learned man who is not involved in rabbonus at all. He spouts opinions as he sees them & does not necessarily reflect Chabad shita. He is also a political libeterian to the max, and thinks SS, medicare, should be abolished.
Hirshel,
You can start by removing the link to VIN. They are a pack of frauds. Numerous times I have attempted to post there, in a refined and respectful way, granted, about highly charged subjects, and the comments never saw the light of day.
Even on the Lakewood Bochur post, my attempts to point out that he was a victim of abuse (a fact that was already publicized) was relegated to the trash heap.
Hirshel, THEY ARE A PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Do the right thing Hirshel!
PS - For all the Tzig bashers, this can be said of him. I have been here since day one, and he has never censored a comment that stayed within bounds and did not cross the line to vulgarity.
Thanks, BP
I find that hard to believe that he censors so much, since he's trying very hard to be at the forefront of the debate regarding abuse etc.
Oh, and another thing.
If you look at this from the sociological angle, these are disenfranchised (I hate that word) 'youth', feeling abused by the 'system' and powerless to effect change. So their only weapon is 'acting out' and hoping to shock and frigten you. I'm not excusing it, just trying to comprehend where the're coming from.
And if they have a problem with 'you' or 'us', its that they view us (right or wrong) as having the power to change the system, or at least raise our voices and rail against it.
Case in point, how does Zalmen Leib allow an accused molestor to remain at the helm of one of his Mosdos? Or Lipa employ Kolko for Oh so many years while he was destroying lives? Were we (are we)willing to charge the barricades with a broken beer bottle and do something about it, regardless the cost to our 'good name' or that of our families?
Look at Twersky, he couldn't stand the heat for even a week before he bailed out. Can you tell me there is not enough wrong with Inzerer (extended) Shteytel that we have the right to expect to die in bed (euphemistically speaking) instead of on the field of battle, fighting the 'good fight'.
Listen Hirshel, its not that simple. True, some mal-adjusted, immature individuals will find any excuse for self serving behaviour. But for others, well, illness comes in many forms and I know when I'm feeling lousy, I prefer to stay in bed and pull the cover over my head.
Anyways, this is really not the point.
The point is do we believe that the chinuch of our kids (chinuch in the greater sense) is worth at least a half hour of our time a day and a modicum of self sacrifice.
Well, is it?
Tzig,
That's one heartless post that shows the author's true colors. "If we're to believe this kid Finkelstein" ? Imagine that it was sha'ar b'sorcho; insert a name of one of yours and try to read the sentence again ...
I agree, this post was mean spirited and barely comprehensible.
>>For all the Tzig bashers, this can be said of him. I have been here since day one, and he has never censored a comment that stayed within bounds and did not cross the line to vulgarity.
This is untrue. The Tzig denied me the ability to rebut the motzi shem rah which was made against the chazon ish on others on this blog. He allows every perverted, ignorant pruste shvantz to insult these great men. But he rarely allows me to respond in kind.
The internet provides a haven for every malcontent, loser and misfit. Those adjectives describe the cows, as well as VIN, Chaptzem, FailedMessiah, Yudelstake, UOJ and probably many more sites that I don't even know about. I'm not sure why you even pay attention to the dregs of our society.
Regarding the tragic Finkelstein family (and his girlfriend or whatever they're calling her); I don't see how it is in their best interests to keep posting things all day on the net as if they are doing Shua's memory some kind of service. What toeles do they possibly see in these wacky actions? I hope they aren't just trying to capitilize on their 15 minutes of fame.
Anon,
You've called a lot of people nasty names, but you'd be a lot better off turning some of that criticism inwards.
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