Tuesday, May 24, 2011

א מעשה מיט א פיש - פון קטלא קניא


דער סקווערער רבי, שליט"א, מיט הרב ישראל מאיר לאו, דער געוועזענער הויפט-רב פון מדינת ישראל, און היינט צו-טאג דער הויפט רב פון תל-אביב, וועלכע האט היינט באזוכט אין ניו-סקווער


ס'איז געקומן אַ פֿישל קײַן סקװער
ער'ט געפֿרעגט ´װי, װאָס, װען, װער?´
מ'האָט אים געגעבן אַ זעץ
'דו װײסט װאָס דו רעדסט?'
דאָ טאָר מען נישט געבן אַ קלער

דער פֿיש האָט געגעבן אַ טאַנץ
דער בעלאַבאָס איז אַרײַן אין אַמבולאַנס
דער פֿיש האָט געשװיגן
גאַנץ סקװער האָט געשריגן
'ס'גײט פֿונעם גאַרטל אַ שװאַנץ'

דער פֿישל'ס געװעזן אַ קאַלטס
ס'האָט געזאָגט ס'דאַרף אַסאַך זאַלץ
'ציט מיך אַרױס פֿונעם בלאָטע
איך טו װי מײַן טאָטע
מײַן טלית קטן קומט אָן ביז מײַן האַלץ'

דער פֿיש האָט געװײנט אױף אַ תיקון
'איך בעט מ'זאָל מײן נשמה דערקװיקן
מ'האָט מיך נישט געלײגט אין אַ לעדל
מ'האָט געמײנט כ'בין אַ מײדל
װײַל מײן טאַטע'ס געװען צו פרום צו קוקן'

דער פֿיש האָט געזאָגט בקול רם
'רבותי איך האָב אַ פּראָגראַם
נעמט געלט פעדעראַלע
טײלט אױס פאַר אַלע
אָבער מיך לאָט צורו אינעם ים'

דער פיש האָט געװײנט אױף זײן מיתה
'הרגעט מיך נישט מיט אַ שיסער
טוט מײן נשמה אױסבײלן
איך װעל פאַר הילערי װעלן
אַזױ װעל איך אַרױס פֿונעם תפֿיסה'

די פֿישעטע האָט גערעדט אינעם שטעטל
זי האָט געבעטן זי װיל האָבן אַ ברעטל
'אין אַ נוסח פון קלאָגן
װעל איך ויקָרב קץ זאָגן
און אַ היט װעל איך גײן אױפן שײטל''

דאָס פישל טײלט אױכעט שריים
און לױפֿט אין אַ מקווה פֿון מים חיים
ס'שװימט גאָר גיך
מיט שטיװל אָן שיך
'דער סוף איז שױן דאָ'. לחיים!

50 comments:

איציק said...

מ'מיינט ש"ב פישל
???

Anonymous said...

ווי איז די מקור דערפין? אויף זיין בלאג זעה איך עס נאכנישט.

Anonymous said...

ס'איז אן אלטע פאוסט פון אמאל

Mosad Agent 007 said...

How do the holy N.K. activisten and their nochshlepper who have lately made themselves at home at this blog explain the fine reception accorded the "Chief Rabbi" of the Tziyonistishe city of Tel Aviv by the Grand Rabbi of Skvirre? Is Skvirre still in earth orbit around the heilike shite or are you simply afraid of starting up with them?I guess the N.K. is afraid of Chacham Ovadiah and of the Skverer Rebbe. Quite interesting...Doesn't your shite teach you not to be afraid of anyone?

Anonymous said...

"Hassidic Jews have no violent crime"-Really!

yom tov in der vochen said...

Funny!

Anonymous said...

The Skverer and his top henchman,Shaye Unger of Kapavar, are showing a business as usual calmness, as if noting is brewing on the streets.
Did Mubarak act the same before he let loose of power?

Mosad Agent 007 said...

So from the lack of outrage against the Skverrer Rebbe for his feiner kabolas ponim for the former Chief Rabbi of the "Medineh" and present Chief Rabbi of Tel-aviv we can "learn" that all the criticism against Agudah and Mizrachi and Lubavitch by the "Defenders of the Faith" in Williamsburg and Kiryas Joel is nothing more than the very things the kanoim are supposedly fighting-political expediency and cheap publicity for a morally bankrupt ideaology.I challenge the Hisachdus and the Guardians of the City to place an ad in the Yid criticizing the Skverrer Rebbe. I'm waiting...

schneur said...

Perhaps the Skverer is thinking of relocating in Tel Aviv ?

Anonymous said...

"Mosad Agent 007 said..."

Mosad said is like the ass of bilhom start talking.. oops I'm sorry even bilhoms ass made more sense! For the record Skever is confused.. and it's totally the responsibility of their leader he should get out of the way.. let the kehila's sober minds lead! one day the rebbe chats with hillary! the next day he will condemn breslev!.. go to the kosel.. and support zionisim! (by chatting with that Lowy guy who also chats with the murder accomplice pope!!) but not the agudah!.. leading his flack with a dictatorship not with halacha! than pretend to be like a dear or sheep when the headlights is on him.. move over rebbe to your time is up! GO.

uchony kotter 770 said...

Where is Harry the talking Hassidic herring now that we need him? I bet the feds would like to have a word with him now.

Edgar said...

Uchony kotter
You eat herring ? Oh I forgot you are in 770 .
Is Vita acceptable, how about Nathan's with the KVH ?
The Feds don't need the herring , they need the mashke.

Mossad007 said...

Re.:Billam's Ass-Thank you for a most lucid presentation. Your analytical skills are truly impressive. I'll pass it on to my superiors in the Mossad.They're looking for a "yat" like you.

Anonymous said...

"Thank you for a most lucid presentation. Your analytical skills are truly impressive"

you welcome.

Der Shygetz said...

Replacing this rebbele with a talking fish can only bring the state of the chassidus and the shtetl to a higher level.

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

azi

LOL
that's not a correct translation

the correct translation is:

The little fish also distributes "shrayim"

Anonymous said...

If you missed it, go watch the speech PM Netanyahu delivered to a joint session of Congress yesterday. He got 38 standing ovations and was hugged and mobbed by most members of Congress. He spoke like a real Jew who truly believed in our right to be in EY.This speech is incredible.You won't be disappointed.

Anonymous said...

Can you stop with your Zionism, look in the Veyol Moshe from RJT( the sefer that nobody dared to refute)you will see that guys like you are Kofer in all 13 ikrim, and you brought on klal yisrol the shoah
Why dont you get it?
isn't it obvious enough?

Anonymous said...

Anon.4:13 RJT vs. Reb Aren Belzer, the Poneviezher Rov,The Lubavitcher Rebbe,Reb isser Zalman Meltzer, the Chazon Ish,and almost every other godol who lived at the time of the establishment of the state.Only RJT was right and everyone else was wrong!What nonsensical talk!The Poneviezher Rov put an Israeli flag on the Yeshivah on Yom Hoatzmous.The Chazon Ish told his mekuravim to vote in the elections.Your sefer VYM was never accepted by klal Yisroel. And that's an irrefutable fact!Did Reb Mosheand Reb Aharon agree with your shite? No,No,and veiter No!

Anonymous said...

You should replace your pic with the one on katle's page.

Anonymous said...

the combination of rishas and tipshes = skver. most bootleggers live there by default now as the rebbe there dont give a damn about anything as long as his and his kids kitchen are loaded to the roof with kugel, surely berabim when he eats every thing is dipped in salt for all to see the rebbe isnt nehaine from oilem hazeh even an iota .he did,nt give a damn when he knew that a known nadvan who pumped millions into the rebbes coffers who needed major help the rebbe was there to take his money and absolutely didnt care zilch about the poor fellow does anybody know a more selfish ruthless fibber than the skverrer ?

Anonymous said...

Anon
"Only RJT was right and everyone else was wrong!What nonsensical talk"
sorry to tell you, but the fact is that RJT was the biggest goan after the war, Plus the reason that hashem saved him from Auschwits,was to get us a Moshe Rebinie to teach klal yisroel right from wrong
It is obvious,

Anonymous said...

Anon
"surely berabim when he eats every thing is dipped in salt for all to see the rebbe isnt nehaine from oilem hazeh even an iota"
I see that you are venting your pent-up anger on the rebbe of Skver, but are you positive with your fact throwing, that the salt dipped food, is only a sham for the public, and privately he eats steak from the fine steakhouses in Monsey? Did you have kabolas eidas. Or hurling accusations make you feel better.

Anonymous said...

Lau was involved with Tropper,so Skver is small potatos

Hildesheimer said...

The coke-head yekke?

talmud bavli said...

zvi goat i must thank you so much, i read this on twitter 'vaadharabanim' that this is in part of a major conflict between the rebbiws two sons aron mendel and itzik, this shapiro bucher is siding with his uncle who works with aron mendel, while itzik is more liberal, and therefore has a major fraction of the chassidus.

the skver rebbi tried establishing to village for itzik, but fell trow after dunner passed away.

pitputim said...

A new HEBREW booklet (74 pgs. and the second booklet in the series):

Alo Na'ale
Response to the book "Vayoel Moshe" of the Satmar Rebbe

Answers by Ha-Rav Ha-Gaon Shlomo Aviner Shilt"a

Edited by Ha-Rav Mordechai Tzion

20 shekels or $7 including shipping

Orders: mororly@bezeqint.net

Anonymous said...

Shlomo Aviner, who is suspected of harassing women, does not come up to the sole of the Satmarer Rov's foot.

Anonymous said...

Anon:7:22 And the reason G-d saved the old Vishnitzer Rebbe,the previous Gerrer Rebbe, and the previous Lubavitcher Rebbe was to teach klal Yisroel that it was permitted to build and work and live,and raise new doros in the land of Israel until the arrival of Moshiach.The above mentioned tzaddikim were't kedoshei elyon? and they didn't agree with the SR. sorry but those are the facts.

Anonymous said...

Anon
"Shlomo Aviner, who is suspected of harassing women"
why are you talking loshon hora on a acusation that it is clear by now that some enemies tried to smear. take the next plane and ask for forgiveness.

Anonymous said...

Anon
" does not come up to the sole of the Satmarer Rov's foot."
what makes you so so so so sure?

Anonymous said...

RJT claims in all his 21 kislev deroshas(Teshua Gedolah) that some people were saved from the shoa by the side of kedusha and some were saved by the sitra achra, the deeds of later years is the decisive point. So all Rebbes that are Zionist afiliated are probably sitra achra,

Flip Wilson said...

The devil saved them

Imre Kovacs said...

The Zionists also knew RJT was Moshe rabbeinu of the Dor that's why they saved him.

alu sheibud malchios said...

RJT only said that you can not have a Jewish government before the coming of meshiach ,
but also agreed that it was permitted to build and work and live,and raise new doros in the land of Israel until the arrival of Moshiach.

ein bein olam hazah v"yamos hamushiach alu sheibud malchios bilvad. Shmiel, Sanhadrin,Rambam

Anonymous said...

now some more of the hippocracy of the skverrer it is forbidden to take pictures by your own private wedding that law applies only to the pshutei hamoin am as by the rebbes childrens wedding, photos videos are published in all the orthodox news media which itself did'nt find attempted murder of a whole orthodox family enough worthy to print the media is oiver on lo saamoid al dam rei'acho , and the skverrer dayonim r oiver on loi soguru mipnei ish this is the corrupt world we r living in

bobov chusid said...

speaking about skver brother-in-law to belz rebbi, belz rebbi took his chassidus out of the shell and modernized it big time, skver should learn from him, if belz would contiue the customs of the tiny swampty muddy dirt road village of belz located near the big city of lvov (lemberg) he would have the same thing. the belz rebbi was matir the pictures, zionism, clean garments, computer, ect. therefore he was able to flourish, skver will bring to uprising, negetive impact and way much worse.

bobov never had this problem. the bobov rebbi was/is a true leader, understood to the mind set of people and how to work with em.

Anonymous said...

They airbrushed Hillary out of that iconic picture

Anonymous said...

Shibud malchios:
Amended Version:"Build,work,live and raise new doros in the land of Israel under a Jewish non-messianic government-not under the
Caliphate,British mandate or United Nations."Certainly the SR would not agree to this.

Yashtzerke said...

Hey Flip:The" other side" is one of the key players in the saga called "Zionism" according to the SR version of history.It's the default system when all other explanations fail.It is utilized quite extensively in the SR's writings.Perhaps Natruna will interview "him" in their future advertising spots on afternoon talk-radio.I wonder what "he" sounds like.I'm sure Larry king will return to CNN just to do the interview.

yoshe kalb said...

bobov chusid,
just for your information:according to the census at the beginning of the 20th century the grand "metropolis" of bobov had a mere 749 Jewish inhabitants as compared to the 2872 ( thrice as much ) Jews in the "Jewish Rome" (Jiri Langer)named Belz.

Anonymous said...

r lau was accused of mush more serious matters than r aviner.
2) r aviner takes the satmar kashas w/o the terrutzim and that is basicly his pamplet.

Anonymous said...

Dearest Bobover,

We have been hearing from you about the glory of Bobov for quite sometime now.

Are you only referring to Bobov back in Europe ?

How about the in America ?

And which living reincarnation in Brooklyn, 45 or 48 ?

We all are eagerly awaiting your
very important response.

Anonymous said...

Hirshel
I saw the following on the comments in Bechadrie,
27/05/2011

א שטעטעלע ווי אמאל אויף דעם דרך דעם אלטן,
צווישן ביימער און וועלדער איז זי באהאלטן,
אפגעשיידט פונעם ארום די שענסטע פלאץ פארן איד,
ווי תורה און חסידות דארט גלאנצט און בליעט.

חסידים מיט'ן רבי'ן אינאיינעם מען וואוינט,
מיטן גרעסטן מאס פרומקייט איז די שטעטל באקרוינט,
דעם רבין'ס זצ"ל וואונטש, געוואלט דאס האט ער,
און בעז"ה אויפגעשטעלט "שיכון סקווירא".

א רואיג שטיל שטעטל שוין אזויפיל יארן,
פון די גאנצע וועלט קומען אידן קיין סקווירא צו פארן,
זעהן וואס מיינט באשיידענקייט, פרומקייט און מסורה,
זעהן דעם רבין'ס טיש און דעם עבודת הבורא.

נעבן שטעטל איז דא א היים ווי אידן זיצן איינזאם,
פארהאן איינוואוינער וואס ווילן אריינברענגן דארט א היימישן טעם,
אבער נישט דאווענען אין גרויסן שול איז א פארברעכערישן דערהער,
און איז א שרעקליכן בושה פאר סקווירא.

דאווענען צום אייבערשטן קען מען 'נאר' אין גרויסן שול,
דאווענען ערגעץ אנדערש איז נישט וואס "ג-ט" וויל...,
דאס איז דער 'געזעץ' פון שטעטל און מען דארף זיך האלטן דערצו,
אויב נישט איז די דין אז "ונכרתה הנפש ההוא".

וואספארא מיתה? קודם סקילה... (אויף די פענסטער) נאכדעם שריפה,
נישט נאר אויף דעם 'אויפשטענדלער' אליין נאר א גאנצע מגיפה,
פון די גאנצע משפחה נישט בלייבן קיין זכר מער,
"עון" אבות על בניהם, איז די דין אין סקווירא.


שאול שפיצער, דו מערדער, דו רוצח, דו קאלטבלוטיגער אכזר פארן טוהן אזא שענדליכן אקט,
דו וואלסט געטון דיינס און נאך געהאפט מ'זאל דיר נישט האבן געפאקט,
וואס ביזטו אנדערש ווי דער בלוט-דארשטיגער ראדיקאלער טאליבאנער,
וואס הרג'עט אן רחמנות אויפן באפעל פון דער פירער זיינער.

וואס ביזטו אנדערש ווי דער העסליכער מערדערליכער פאלעסטינער,
וואס איז גרייט יענעם צו שחט'ן נאר צו ווייזן אז ער איז דער געווינער,
דו ביזט דאס נידריגסטע וואס כלל ישראל האט נאר אמאל געזען ביז אהער
פארברענען ווייל "ער דאווענט נישט אין גרויסן שול אין סקווירא"!?

מען איז פארנומען מיט די נייעס בארבע כנפות אומעטום,
מען מערדערט פארן נישט קומען אין גרויסן סינעגאגיע ביים ארטאדאקסישן אידענטום,
אנשטאט רחמנים און בישנים האסטו אונז אויסגע'משל'ט ווי חיות,
אונז צוזעצט און פארשמירט, ווי טראגסטו דעם שרעקליכן אחריות!?

די חילול השם און בכלל די חילול היהדות איז דאך נורא ואיום,
ווער האט דיר געגעבן די רעכט אונז – חרדי'שע אידן – אזוי צו פארשמוצן בעיני הגוים,
און איבער אלעם איז שווערער נאך מער,
ווי האסטו געקענט אזוי פארשעמען גאנץ סקווירא!?

ביזטו יעצט באוויליגט פארן אייבערשטער פארן אויסמעקן "לא תרצח"?
אפשר באוויליגט פאר רבי'ן, אבער נאר פאר קוים א וואך,
פיל מיט חרטה ביסטו אינאיינעם מיט די גאנצע באנדע
אנשטאט "וויקטארי" איז מען געווארן א חרפה און א שאנדע.

שפיצער, עס פילט גוט צו האבן רויטע בלוטיגע הענט?
עס פילט גוט אז א גאנצע משפחה וואלט יעצט געקענט זיין שווארץ פארברענט? (היל"ת)
כלל ישראל איז צושוידערט, צוטומעלט און צושטערט, מושפלת עד שאול תחתיה והעיר סקווירא,

מיר זענען נישט מוחל פארן אונז פארשעמען מיט דיין קאלטבלוטיגן שליחות,
מיר זענען נישט מוחל פארן פארשעמען די סקווירא זיידע'ס און די טשערנאביל'ע יחוס,
מיר זענען נישט מוחל פאר די שנאת חינם, ביטול תורה וואס איז געווארן אנגעזייט,
און אויף די צער השכינה וואס קלאגט און שרייט.

I am speculating of the Paksher boy of Forshay, that has some talent in Yiddish, I will not give chas vesholem more hints on his identity.

Anonymous said...

Just Heard
Until today Skver was embarrassed of Lipa, Now Lipa is embarrassed of Skver.

Anonymous said...

bobover for your info, belz rebbi uses his own wisdom does at all turn to bobov for advice. I just wonder how much bigger bobov is/was from belz.

this story that happened in skver is just the tip of the iceberg, my first cousin skver resident said its like a volcano ready to explode. the town is bigger then 30 years ago, the must make some modifications in order to balance it.

Anonymous said...

Oi... am I waiting for the volcano

Anonymous said...

r lau was accused of mush more serious matters than r aviner.

Rav Lau shlita was accused of financial improprieties of the lowest level - taking gifts from couples whom he married when he was rav harashi. Big deal. He was asked to cease and desist and that was it. As if it is a crime for a couple to give a rav of his stature a gift.

If he hadn't been so popular outside frum circles nothing would ever have come to light. But the left is afraid of a Rav Lau who can reach out and who isn't a kanoi or meshuggener.

R. Aviner was accused of abuse. That is a serious accusation and it matches his manipulative and controlling Dovid Twersky-like nature. He is but a rebbele for the dwindling tzioini crowd.

Rav Lau shlita is a rav who has done much for klal Yisroel including Jews who are very far from Avinu shebaShamaim. It says a lot that all they could pin on him to try to bring him down was accepting a few envelopes at chassunes.

yoshe kalb said...

Anonymous of 1:06, I'd like to add that Rav Lau always gives receipts for any money he gets and pays whatever taxes he has to pay. If you want the chief rabbi to perform at your simchah it's gonna cost you.If not, than the Rabbanuth will provide a regular rav.

Anonymous said...

it is illegal for a goverment rabbi for weddings.