Thursday, July 17, 2008

Why do we make it so easy for them?

Some of you may have seen the article about the girl from KJ whose father is a Lubavitcher BT, and mother is a Satmarer woman who left her Lubavitcher BT husband for a better life in KJ. At least for her it was better. For the daughter it sure wasn't. She's (the daughter) now divorced from her car salesman husband and in a custody battle for her child, whom she sees often. While I try and steer clear from stories like that this one lends itself to so much introspection. And since it involves both Satmar and Lubavitch I believe there's enough blame to go around. Yes, you heard me, BLAME. You can look at the story and wipe your hands of the whole thing by saying that she needs to get on medication, and that things like will never happen to your loved ones, but nothing could be further from the truth.

19 comments:

Chnyock said...

until further details come out, it seems like a misfortunate almost standard child of bt syndrome that blew up. she is obviously deep off the D nebach...

agav,
in mikva hot men fartzailt nechtin as sgait arum a michtav kadosh fun gerrer rebbe d pnei menachem az er git iber d hanhogo tzim hantigen rebbe un vet em mechabed zain vichulu vichulu...

Jay said...

In Judaism ONE SIZE FITS NONE!
Get this nonsense out of your heads that if an indvidual is not religious they are not mentally ill and not in need of meds.

Anonymous said...

wheres the article? can you post it please

chaim said...

Tzigy
The Heimishe guys that I'm familiar with that became Lubavitch have all been missing something.Whether a naivite in the best scenario or stam meshugoim or massive nebs or in certain cases rabbis who like kovod and in Lubavitch they get what they would not get in other circles.
Anyway, following your blog I see you are also messed up.Sorry, not so nice to say but it seems to be the truth.Lets analyze your current post,k?
You ask 'why we make it easy for them'.What are you talking about!?
Was the journalist who wrote the piece a 'Lubab hater'?!.Lubavitch has next to nothing to do with this whole sad story, besides for a tiny mention that the girls dad was a crazy Lubab 'who is currently in Israel screaming hat Schneerson is the Messiah' quoting his ex father in law and non religous grandfather of the girl.
Yet, you with your Stokholm Syndrome mind make this THE ISSUE!!!??
The story is a sad one, unfortunately more common amongst baaley teshuva, especially since the biological dad, who does not appear to be involved with the kids is apparently crazy.

If you wanted an intelligent discussion you could've discussed this story, what can be done in such a case, is the mother right, do people in Monroe have to chill, etc...

So not to fall into your trap of seeing an anti Lubab behind every tree I'll give my opinion of the story.

Between the lines it's apparent that the girl was not mistreated by her mom or Satmar step dad, her inability to hold a steady job while her husband is a very hardworking guy and the exhibitionism she shows in the article makes me feel that the girl should not get more than visitation rights.She actually does not even badmouth her ex, so apparentl he treated her ok and she just wanted out.I have had the occasion to get to know some of the 'chulenters' where she hung out and many of them have serious issues.Usually I try not to be automatically on the frim side, but in this case I think the girl is unstable ans was manipulated by a dirty old man interested in menivulehs with her.

Anonymous said...

a durty article

Tibi said...

Dos iz nebech a krank kind. zol zi hoben a refuah sheleimoh. A Parshas Pinchus special.
Af al pi kein. Let's all think about the chinuch of our children al pi darko.

Anonymous said...

Chaim
Did you check yourself lately by a doctor to get a grip on your Syndrome that u are suffering? Hirshel had nothing political to say and u make it into a political football

Anonymous said...

I was most disturbed by the small piece where she is sitting with the writer watching some "chulenters" stoned on acid rowing in a freezing lake. She has her reasons, issues, etc. A group of jewish kids who decided to 'take a walk' are not in college, working, doing biz, etc. They are totally wasted and heading to the grave R"L. Like Gitty, they have no english, math or social skills to help them join the secular society. Their only outlet is drugs and unhibited sex. This is really scary and needs to be addressed by everyone. Although Satmar, Skver, Vishnitz have it worst, this is a problem for everyone including Chabad, most Litvish communities, Bobov, etc.

Anonymous said...

Anon 9:14
When you state as 'fact' that 'Satmar,Skver and Vishnitz have it worst' what do you mean, they lack English skills or more of their youth leave the fold?
Honestly, I don't think that knowledge of English is a major stumbling block, young people pick up languages easily and most kids actually apeak english, albeit not very well

Anonymous said...

you didnt read the article in New York Magazine, the girl decries the fact that she didn't know what a lobster is because a lack of English

Anonymous said...

anon 2:46:00 AM
Gut voch,
The guy after u actually understood it. If a kid decides to "drop out", we would like to think they will go to college, get a skill, get a decent job, and join society. Unfortunately, too many of them end up like the article describes, rowing in a lake high on acid. Not that college is a guarantee of success, bu these kids don't have the basics of functioning in society at large. It goes beyond english skills. This girl gitty wouldn't make it as my secretary and I doubt she can get a job answering phones in an office. To "leave the shtetl" you need some basic idea of how life works in the bigger world, or else you've got a problem. What I don't understand is I've met Satmar yungeleit and women who are very proficient in math skills, computers, and make a very nice living working in major corporations in NY. I got a feeling her mother being a BT and a tzugekumener took it to an extreme with her kids and basic secular education.

Twistelton-Twistelton said...

I read the article and the billion of comments on the New York magazine site. The article was one sided, but anyone could see that the girl is in need of major help. By the articles own recounting, she is on drugs, unable to hold a job etc. Which is why the female non-Jewish judge gave custody to the father. And dose anyone believe that she only saw her husband through a window before her marriage? If so, when did he see her as required by chazal. Methinks that like some children of BT’s, her mother did not know what was din, minhag, or social custom. And so was not able to adjust to her particular daughters needs. Don't see how Chabad really figures into the story. Unless it’s the fact that when her mother left her Lubavitcher husband, she was taken in, not by Chabad but Satamar.

Avremele said...

It's a GLOBAL machla. Not Satmar or Chabad Lubavitch or Belz or Vizhnitz or Klausenberg or Bobov or Gur or Litvish! It's time everybody realizes that this is a sad part of ikvisa d'Meshicha. 'Nuff said.

Anonymous said...

twistleton
I spoke to some guys that are the yungermans friend, his shiduch was never made thru one glance thru the window 99%of satmar dont make shiduchim like this, and her husband was considered a "cool" bochur there are many lies in this article as it is not objective. In Isreal almost every month there are articles in the weekend Yedioth or Mariv of some reject boy or girl all slanted against the charadie community. It seems like now we in NY will be next

Twistelton-Twistelton said...

"twistleton
I spoke to some guys that are the yungermans friend, his shiduch was never made thru one glance thru the window "

I didn't think so.

Anonymous said...

Just reading through the article it seems that she is but the latest in a multi-generational stream of f--kups. The grandparents had three children of which one became a faigele artist, one went full-on Lubavitch before finding her way out to KJ and only the third turned out somewhat normal. The BT daughter showed no discretion in marrying the first nutcase loser, having three children in a broken home. That madness was reflected in the star of this show who has birthed a similarly broken home. I shudder to think what the baby girl has in store.

That Lubavitch, Satmar or anyone else is involved here is sheer accident. Stories like this happen everywhere.

SatmarTC said...

the lady needs help and there r many distortions in this story
U don't have to be a gemius to realize this
and Satmar Guzma sell very well

Anonymous said...

She is ALSO a product of the b'nei yoel education system. They are taught that there WAS a Rebbe. He died. He's buried. Their new generation never saw the Rebbe. Therefore, "logic" says that if he's in d'rerd then so is the Torah chas v'shalom.

Anonymous said...

I would like to know how many people in the next town of KJ in Harriman are married to there wives more then 5 years, with no custody battle, My gut feeling is that maybe 10 percent are married to the same wife,eventough they dated and are exposed to every modern gadget thats around, are they happier, what is the point of the repoter when he finds a problematic marrige in a village of 3500 couples