Don't push!

As a bochur I attended a Yeshivah camp that had 4 or 5 "litvishe" Yeshivos staying together. One מוצאי תשעה באב after Maariv the guys all charged into the lunchroom to push and shove on line to get their not so great food. What would cause them to push for fried fish and sloppy mashed potatoes is beyond me, but that was the case.

One of the Maggidei Shiur, I believe from Mirrer Yeshivah, could not take it, he could not fathom how young boys can push for food, so he got up and cried out from the depths of his heart "it was just Tishah B'Av"!, meaning how can you push for food at a time like this. The cry went mainly unheeded due to the fact that most boys were still quite hungry, but I remember the story 13 years later.

What do we expect of Tishah B'Av, and what is its main purpose? Is it

1) Tshuvah
2) lamenting the Churban
3) refraining from Loshon Horah
4) Holocaust rememberance

OK, the latter 2 are just to be inclusive of all types, I basically mean the first 2 choices. The other תעניות are basically meant for Tshuvah, although they recall tragedies in the timeline of the Jewish people. Tisha B'Av by virtue of the fact there is lots to say with most of the Kinos lamenting the Churban Beis HaMikdosh and the Crusades is meant to cry for tragedies. So the question arises: are we meant to lament the Churban as a means to bring to Tshuvah which will bring about the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdosh, or is it a reason to cry in and of itself?

If the answer is the former then we have lots of work to do. How is it expected of us in these days to cry over something we've never seen, and all we know of it is that it was a messy slaughterhouse, ח"ו? (a story of the Kotzker and Reb Shlomo Eiger is the source for that quote, so don't get into a huff about it). We do not stress the fact that it was a מקום השראת השכינה so most people don't see it as such, so why cry for it? In the old days we cried for the Beis Hamikdosh because we couldn't bear the pressures of everyday life. The pogroms, the persecutions, and the economic dead end that was the road of most Jews was enough to arouse great yearning for those great days, but what now?

Yom Kippur is different because of the Yom Tov atmosphere, the Davening which speak of Tshuvah and the Yom HaDin, concepts that people can relate to very easily, but Tishah B'av is a day that we can't wait to get over, either by sleeping through it or just by wasting time. I understand Kinos is said with more sincerity due to easily available translations of Kinos and Midroshim, but how does all of that translate into wanting the Bais hamikdosh?

Maybe I'm missing the point here, but it seems that one of the points was Tshuvah. The Chasam Sofer would give a Droshoh every year on Zayin Av, a tradition carried on to this day in Kehillos like Adas Yereim, Chasan Sofer, etc. where the minhogei Chasam Sofer are practiced. I seem to remember hearing that in that Droshoh they mention the names of all people of the community that passed away over the year, especially Rabbonim and Tzaddikim, in order to bring the community to tears. That would seem to make the point of the day as Tshuvah.

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Any thoughts?