Wednesday, March 23, 2011

"ליבע קען ברענען און ניט אויפהערן"




Blogger "KatleKanye" has been writing again, and it's something that maybe some of us can relate to... No, not me. I'm happily married, danken G-tt. There was a young Chasidishe Yungerman who wrote a letter to a column in the Yiddish language Forverts that they of course published for all to see. The column is called שאלות ותשובות בהלכות ליבע," and he apparently has a "leebe" question that he needs to ask of the Rov, er, Rebbetzin, er, Chazzan'te... He's married with 3 zeese techterlech, looks like he's a very frum yungerman, but he's really not. And now he realizes that he needs to cut ties with his wife and current life, because he's too open-minded and too truthful to live out his life as he is now. The problem as he sees it is twofold; 1) his kids will suffer growing up without a father, or with a stepfather, they should be so lucky. 2) he doesn't know how to go about meeting a new woman - does he do it as a frum yungerman, or does he do it like a man of the world? pressing questions, indeed, if ever there were such questions. Friends and acquaintances that he's spoken to have differing opinions as to what he should do - whether to stay or to go, and he says that the staus quo is "suicide," which worried the Chazzan'te to no end.

The advice disher-outer told him to go to Footsteps, Malkie Schwartz's (the ex-Lubavitcher) organization that supposedly helps young ex-chassidim get acclamated to general society. Which basically tells me how out of touch with frum society this Chazzante is. After all, if he's soooo open-minded I'm sure he knows of Footsteps. And besides, I doubt they can help him here, they usually help young kids who've been out on the streets, and claim that their lack of secular education is what's keeping him from succeeding. Out yungerman never mentioned his level of education, nor did he say whether or not he speaks English well. She's assuming that he's some dumb Hasid who needs help reading a street sign. Not very enlightened, if you ask me. Her, that is. I just don't get why he's kicking up such a fuss. Let him live like he is now. he may not know this, but he's not the only "intellectual out there." We all love the finer things in life, and most people just go through the motions anyway. One in a hundred is serious about Yiddishkeit and G-d. So why does he think that HE can't go on like this?! We should start a support group. he'd be shocked to find out how many of his contemporaries are just like him and managed just fine with a wife and kids - and grandkids - that shared not his "values."


21 comments:

zezmir said...

I feel for the guy...

Shmuel said...

The guys unhappiness is internal. It's not due to his lack of emuna. Changing his circumstances will make no difference.

Anonymous said...

zezmir
he has a yetzer hora(animal instinct) like all of us, he just writes about it nice

Anonymous said...

Hirshel
I am shocked of your shallow advice,obviously you need new friends

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

anon
I hear you. good thing I don't get paid for advice.

Anonymous said...

katlakanya is a female?

Anonymous said...

I wonder if this is the same guy profiled in SHulem Deen's (aka Hasidic Rebel) Brooklyn Rail article:

http://brooklynrail.org/2011/03/local/a-person-of-prominence

Bichlal, he should be reading Shulem's "Unpious" blog:

http://www.unpious.com/

& their own version of "A Bindele Brivn":

http://www.unpious.com/2011/03/letters-to-the-editor/

--ZIY

Fed up in Peoria said...

"Blogger "KatleKanye" has been writing again, and it's something that maybe some of us can relate to... No, not me. I'm happily married, danken G-tt"

Ahem, sure.

the frum version of a PDA.

pitputim said...

You are suggesting that he "grin and bear it" because he's one of many many people who live this sort of life. That is circular logic. He may not be like many many people because he CAN'T go on like this anymore!

You cannot analyse a person based on such a description; you need to meet him and discuss.

Realise that he may not be able to live with his current identity and that (as opposed to wife and kids) is the driving force for his need to escape. Sure, the wife and kids are Korbanos, but they aren't the problem per se. He is the problem in the sense that he has been living in someone else's clothes?

Isaac Balbin

yoichy said...

ZIY,
What was/is Shulems story/backround?
I remember reading Hasidic Rebel when he was still married and part of the frum world

old yold said...

psychotherapy will help-something the frum world should learn to appreciate.

Anonymous said...

Ziy
I think the chasidic rebel, is back in the ghetto, I saw him on the BP streets

Spring Valley said...

Who is Shulem Deen and where does he know English so well if he is from Skver?
Is he related to a fellow Deen who lived in the Old City and died years ago, a kind of Carlebach guy who became very serious?

sad leo said...

Dear blogger, what's your point here other than promoting these kofrim? Is it to portray their sad lives? to show that yahadut is crumbling at the foundation?

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

Dear Leo

I'm not promoting.

I'm bemoaning.

CR said...

Leo,

Averting your gaze from your brethren suffering a crisis of faith does not make them go away or heal them. That they exist is an indictment on the rest of us, especially the "silent majority" who go through the motions; rehearsing ancient rituals in a blind funk. If we made an Orthodoxy that people actually want to join then perhaps the Footsies wouldn't have such a huge potential customer base!

Anonymous said...

u gotta get 'acclimated' to spelling it. Do you also have trouble with street signs? Or do you just live in westgate where the streets are called "Kelm" and "Mir"

Shulem Deen said...

Hirshel -- You have a point that the letter-writer probably knew about Footsteps and didn't need the chazzan'te to point it out. But her advice is sound nonetheless. Footsteps is exactly the kind of place for a person like this. I'm not sure where you got the characterization of Footsteps as: "they usually help young kids who've been out on the streets." As a member of Footsteps myself, I can tell you there are very few of that sort. Footsteps was started by MS as a support group for formerly-frum college students -- not, as you claim, "kids on the streets." Yes, one of Footsteps's major programs is helping Chasidim with getting GEDs and getting into college, but that applies equally to nineteen-year-old yeshiva kids and 40-year-old chasidish housewives.

Footsteps boasts a diverse membership, including several attorneys (I can name at least seven, off the top of my head), filmmakers, doctors, writers, photographers, actors, computer programmers, Wall St. investment bankers, and many more working professionals. It has a HUGE segment of very serious and focused college students from both sexes, with students majoring in fields such as mathematics, biochemistry, creative writing, computer science, and lots more.

And Footsteps has a sizable number of individuals who still live in the frum world but seek to broaden their horizons and enrich their lives in ways that the frum world doesn't allow. Exactly the kind of people like the letter-writer in question.

You really should know more about Footsteps before advising on whether or not someone might benefit from it.

Anonymous said...

tzig,

nothing to do with this blog, but where did you find this
מיר פערהערן דעם חתן
painting, i looked and googled for it all over nad could not find anything about it or its painter, could you feel me in?

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

I had it on my blog already a few years ago, and now I used it again. I'm not sure where I found it. I'll try and find it.

Anonymous said...

thanks!