photo source
So over Shabbos I davened in a shtiebel frequented by mostly Hungarian Charedim. Nice people, friendly and all. No complaints. A lot of Chassidus Mevueres seforim, as well as other Chabad Seforim. Several Tehillas Hashem siddurim as well. The Rov is a sweet Rebbishe type. He even shows me the end of the aliya when I'm called up. A-1 service. So there's this one bochur there, 14-15 years old. Seems to be a nice kid, but his davening irked me. While writing this I'm thinking that I may have written about it once before, when I had the same thoughts the last time I encountered his behavior. It may have even been the same kid! Anyhow, most of you don't remember anyway... So this kid davens with tnu'os meshunos. Strong shukkeling. Fists clenched. Veins popping. שמונה עשרה is a long ordeal. But he seems like someone who knows from this world. clean hat and shoes, etc. That's not to say that he's a total bluffer! He seems like a kid who means well. But my point is simply that he's getting way ahead of himself! He's not at that level of dveikus, and it doesn't seem like he's ever going to be there. But in his mind, since he maybe wants to be there all the outside trappings of being at that level are justified. And in his mind this is the way to get close to Hashem! Can it be that since we allow ourselves to be untruthful, דהיינו מ'נארט זיך, in ענינים של עבודה, that it spills over to all other aspects of life as well? That we're untruthful in our business dealings or with our children and spouses? Then again, what does the משנה say? וכל מי שאינו לא חיגר ולא סוּמָא ולא פִּסֵּחַ ועושה עצמו כאחד מהם אינו מת מן הזקנה עד שיהיה כאחד מהם, שנאמר 'צדק צדק תרדוף - so maybe he has a point.
