Friday, November 4, 2005

בשבילך, "Anonymous"

You asked for a "Dvar Teyre", so here goes:

A Chosid once came to the Alter Rebbe "complaining" about his situation in life. "Rebbe", He said, "I am wont of both worlds, I have neither Olam HaZeh nor Olam HaBoh". Other Chassidim, Chassidim of Peylisher Rebbes, have it much better than I do. They travel to their respective Rebbe for Shabbos with their wives' permission, because she knows the Chossid will ask for Brochos of Gezunt and Parnossoh and will receive them. At the tish the Chossid gets Sherayim. At Yechidus the Chossid asks for everything he needs and the Rebbe graciously "pours" the Brochos. Of course, when the Chossid gets back home he is happily received by all of his family. After living such a spiritual life he merits a Gezunte Olam Habah because he's done all that's expected of a Chagas Chossid.

The Chabadnik has none of this.

His wife gives him a hard time. "you must ask the Rebbe for a Brochoh for Parnossoh, for our daughter who needs to get married" etc. He cannot do this. When he gets to the Rebbe he tries hard to understand the Maamar, he attends the Chazoroh, review, of the Maamar, he fasts before Yechidus, and when he gets to go into yechidus he cannot do it. He simply cannot bring himself to ask the Rebbe for Brochos regarding personal physical matters. The Rebbe asks him about his learning, davening etc. and he's ashamed. He leaves the Rebbe a broken man.

When he gets home the wife asks him if he'd asked the Rebbe for the Brochos, he says no. Next year he'll have a hard time convincing her to let him go again. He remebers the Maamar and the lessons he needs to learn from them and he has a difficult time implementing the Rebbe's directives. When he leaves this world he's asked וואס פאר א חסיד ביסטו? So he says, A Chabadnik. A Chabadnik gets asked "Did you learn Chassidus, Did you daven like a Chabadnik should etc. He's left with no answer and is sent directly to h---.

So the AR put his heilige kup in di hent, thought for a while, and said:

"איך וועל ניט בייטען דעם (חב"ד) חסידישען גהנם אפ'ן פויליש'ער גן עדן "

א פרייליכען שבת

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yasher kayach ! A geshmaker mayseh !

Is that written somewhere, if so, perhaps you can give us the mokor ?

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

היכל הבעש"ט גליון י"ב עמוד קל"ח

Anonymous said...

does that mean we all go to hell?

Can I still change my allegiance?

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a poilishe vort to me

Anonymous said...

you lubababs call this a dvar torah???this is chabad fiction

Anonymous said...

anonymo, come out of the closet!

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

anonymous
I work hard to put this together and you can't even comment on the content of the post?

Anonymous said...

(A story I just thought of - I didn't see it or hear it anywhere.)

A Litvishe Yeshiva man came to Maran Harav Schach zt"l with taanas about his matzav in life.

Rosh Yeshiva, hot er gezogt. Ich hob nisht kein eylem hazeh un ich hob nisht kein eylem habo. Chassidim (Lubavitcher oder anderer in an anderer veg) hoben asach besser a leben. Zei geyen tzum Rebbe far a farbrengen, zei zingen sheiner niggunim, zei trinken mashke kiseder.....di Rebbe teilt zei ois dollaren.....Zei zoggen az zeyer Rebbe is a novi un zei heren nevuos fun em. Zei halten az zayer Rebbe is Moshiach un dos git zei hoffenung. Zei hoben videos fun dem Rebbe oiftzukuken ven zei kennen nisht geyn zeyen em limato measoroh tefochim. Liachar meiah viesrim shonoh, zei geyn tzu dem Crown Heights gegent in himmel, un zei hoben a farbrengen dorten a gantzen tog un a gantzer nacht.

Ober unz misnagdim - vos hoben mir ? Mir geyen tzum Rosh Yeshiva oder gedaylim, un vos zogen zei tzu unz ? Vos lernst du ? Vu halst du in lernen ? Vos host du michadesh geven letztens ? Ich freg em far a brocho ober er zogt az er iz nisht kein Chassidishe Rebbe un er teilt nisht ois kein brochos. Er geyt aheim mit gornit - er krigt nit afilu a tollar (dollar), a peire (peri) oder afilu a shtickel lekach. Ven er kumt aheim, zein froi fregt em - vos host du gekrogen fun R"Y ? Vos ken er ihr zogen ? Ich hob gehert a gutter chakira fun R"Y ?

Ven er geyt avek fun der velt, er geyt tzu himmel un zey freggen em - vos zeyt ihr ? Zogt ehr, ich bin a misnaged, a Yeshiva man. Heybt men ohn em freggen - nu, host gelernt gantz shas ? Vifil mohl ? mit aleh Taysfaysen ? Mit aleh Rosh, Rif, Ran, Nimukei Yaysef...? mit aleh R. Chaim's, R. Boruch Ber's, un R. Shimen Shkop's ? Mit aleh Tayrehs fun R. Naftoli Trop, R. Nochum, R. Leizer..... ? Vifil chakirehs host du michadeish geven ? Oib er hot nisht gelernt genug fun di Litvisher Tayrehs, zei shikken em tzu a hayser Chassidishen platz - vos filt vi a gehennom far a Litvak. Ayb er hot yoh gelernt genug fun di Litvishe Tayrehs, zei shikken em tzu a zayer kalter platz, vu di neshomos fun di gor kalte misnagdim dreyen zich arum un zogen kalter shticklech fun Tayreh tog un nacht.

Hot der heiliger Rosh Yeshiva geleigt zayn heiliger kop in zeyn heiliger hent (mit vemen er hot gemacht azay fil chakirehs un shticklech Tayreh), getracht far a bissel tzeit, un ge'entfert

'ICH VEL NISHT BAYTEN DEM LITVISHEN GEHENNOM FAR DI LUBAVITCHER GAN EDEN'.

Anonymous said...

mit vemen er hot gemacht azay fil chakirehs un shticklech Tayreh
af hent zogt men nit 'vemen' nor 'velcher'.

Anonymous said...

saidens az er red vegen dem groben finger - vos ba dem 'eiso hoish' ken zeyer zain az dos is geven der eintziger lebediker eiver - un af a lebediker zach past dem vort 'vemen'.
ober dois mer nit vi a doichek, veadain tzorich iyun godeil.

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

Berl
dos i dos? א הערה אפ'ן דקדוק

Ich hub ervartet epes merer fun dir....

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

יע יע
די מתנגד האט א פראבלעם..... נו נו
ער קען דאך גיין צו ר' חיים אדער מרן פוסק הדור" און ער וועט אים בענטשען און געבן לעקאח ביי זיין אושפיזין, איז וואס פעלט אים? גארנישט
און צו דערצו האט ער דאך "געהארעוועט" אין לערנען אויכעט........

Anonymous said...

כמאמר העולם
א מתנגד פישט אין וואטע שבת ווייל ער וויל ניט משמיע קול זיין און עס קלינגט אין אלע וועלטען

Anonymous said...

I don't know what you guys are so excited about here.
Sure, it's fun to hate someone else's path (Yankees or Mets anyone?) - and unity can wait for Moshiach, why bother with that now?
But honestly, Chabad today has no Rebbe Farbrenging all Shabbos, no dollars are being distributed (to same people), no Sicha beepers, no new horaos, nothin. The Poilisher don't have Chabad's incredible literature, and the Rebbe's are usually just CEO's trying to keep the romance of 150 years ago. The Litvak's never had much to get excited about except a svara, and they can still have their fun with that, but so what?
Chabad is a Litvishe Chassidus, and has more in common with their arch-rival Snags than they have with those Poilisher feel-gooders, so basically a Chabad Chosid is living the same life as the Litvak but they have a different curriculum. Big deal.
Tell me, HT, does the story you told give you an ego boost - or does it inspire you to become a greater oived?
You don't have to answer that.

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

Reality
why not? I'd love to answer that.

Anonymous said...

Nu, so answer

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

I'm at work, it'll take a while. Patience, my young friend, patience.

Anonymous said...

Tzig,
We're still waiting for you to finish work... 20 hours and counting...

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

Trouble

see the newest post.

If i'm not clear enough say so.

Anonymous said...

You still didnt anwer the question that you aid you wanted to answer!

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

which part?

Anonymous said...

"Tell me, HT, does the story you told give you an ego boost - or does it inspire you to become a greater oived?
You don't have to answer that. "

Hirshel Tzig - הירשל ציג said...

oh, OK
it inspires me to want to live up to what the AR wanted from all of us, even in Dor Hashvii (and a half). Learning, Davening etc.